Praha

After another day in Vienna (Zach decided not to discuss it because he didn't think it particularly interesting), we headed on to Prague. We arrived at 9:18pm, and determined not to waste our cash, voted for the metro instead of a taxi. This did prove slightly problematic, as when we reached the ticket machines, they were only coin operated. The Czech currency is beyond confusing. The have 50 "dollar" (kroner) coins, and most items cost 100s of kroner, which makes you feel both rich, and like you're spending way too much money. After breaking a 100 kroner note and buy a 30 kroner can of soft drink at the ONLY open store, we eventually made it to our hotel. 

The next day, we headed off for an "all inclusive" walking tour of Prague. We began in the Jewish Quarter, where we checked out various synagogues. 

One of them has the names of 80,000 Jews from Prague who died during WWII. There were 120,000 living there before 1938. Around 30,000 managed to flee before the war began. Only 10,000 survived. Our guide, Tomas, told us that today, there are only 1,700 Jewish people living in Prague. Pretty horrific. We also saw a Jewish Cemetery used from the 15th-18th century. Although tiny, it is said to contain the remains of up to 100,000 people. Once buried, the Jewish people believe that their bones must remain until last judgement, so to maximise space, they are buried in layers, with the tombstones moved up to the top level every time. The result is an amazing jumble of tombstones.

Next stop was the Old Town, famed for its 15th century "Astronomical clock". Every hour, the clock is set in motion, as death (the skeleton) beats time on a bell. Three other sculptures representing vanity, greed (a Jew, hello stereotype!) and pleasure/laziness (a Turk - seriously, Prague was a racist city) also do their thing. All twelve apostles pop their heads out of a window, and some dude trumpets and waves. It's a REALLY short performance, but the Czechs (and tourists, of course) can't get enough of it. And neither can the pickpockets. Easy money.

The Old Town Square is incredibly beautiful, and has this amazing looking church - Church of our Lady before Tyn - which seems more medieval castle than Church. It's especially beautiful at night. Zach said that if Batman was a priest, he would preach at this church. 

Lunch was at this random Medieval restaurant, which was half pirate ship, half dungeon, but it was delicious. Goulash here is amazing. Seriously. Amazing.

A quick bus ride took us to the Prague Castle complex - officially the largest in the world - and the magnificent St Vitus Cathedral housed within its walls. 

The castle is a strange looking building, because basically it is a complete mismatch of architectural styles. It seems every king that came along decided he wanted to add something to the castle. Rather surprisingly, it still manages to be quite beautiful. The Cathedral itself took a whopping 600 years to complete. The influence of this is perhaps best encapsulated by the rather obvious presence of two suited architects in amongst the gothic facade. Awesome.

Whilst we were visiting the castle, we also managed a encounter with the Czech president, Vaclav Klaus. As the guards cleared the street, a string of Skoda and police sped into the castle, followed by two Audis. He pretty much just looked like an old guy in an Audi. Tomas informed us that he always travels like this, untinted windows, second car in the procession, always an Audi. So, you know, security is tight. We weren't especially impressed, until Tom told us a little more about Klaus. Klaus is literally the coolest president ever. He is known as the "Margaret Thatcher of Central Europe", compares environmentalism to communism and once stole a pen during a diplomatic visit to Chile. Seriously, google it. Completely obvious, completely hilarious.  

At the castle, Tomas filled in some time by telling us about Czech Christmas traditions. I should firstly note that 70% of Czech citizens are either Atheist or Agnostic. I should then note that all Czech citizens possess at least one nativity, or "little bethlehem". Makes no sense. Not only this, but they have a nativity museum, most famous for the carp nativity (complete with Jesus as a fish egg). We're not sure why, but the Czech idea of a traditional Christmas meal is carp. They openly admit that it is awful (though apparently soaking it in milk for multiple days can remove the taste of mud) and eat it anyway. I don't get it. The Czechs also don't believe in Santa Claus (Tomas referred to him as the Coke bottle man). Rather, they believe that "invisible baby Jesus" brings them their gifts. I remind you, 70% of these people don't believe in God, but a gift giving, invisible infant Jesus sounds legit. The night of the 5th of November is also important here. On this night, St Nicholas (Mikulas), dressed as a Bishop, visits the houses of children with a party of angels and devils. If the children have been deemed as "bad", the devils scare the children and (sometimes) throw them in sacks so they can "take them to hell", while St Nicholas tries to judge if they are worthy of redemption. He then reads a letter of "misdeeds" (carefully crafted by the parents of course), makes them sing carols/read poems and, finally, deems them worthy of gifts from the angels. If you watch youtube videos of this event, you can imagine that this is probably horrifically damaging to said child. It is also hilarious. The fear in their eyes is genuine. Tomas said that this year he actually had a small girl get down on her knees and beg for "one last chance". Ever entrepreneurial, Zach sees the potential of this as a behavioural control, and intends to introduce it in Australia. Look out Theo!

From the castle, it was down through the "New" (1348 AD) Town to see the infant Jesus of Prague. The story behind it is far too long to tell, but it is by far Zach and my favourite thing. It is this tiny wax doll, enshrined in the wall of a church, full of gold and gem stones. 

Carmelite nuns change its outfit every day (it has hundreds of elaborate robes) and people pray at its altar. It is revered, and people will travel the world to ask its blessing.

…. We don't get it, but we love it anyway. 

We walked past the "Lennon Wall", a symbol of the people's intense dissatisfaction with the former communist regime. While the communists were in power, people would write messages on the wall; messages of love, happiness, joy and freedom. The Commies promptly painted over the wall in boring colours - however, the next day, the people would be back out there, writing their messages of love for all to see. A subtle and defiant means of getting their view across. As John Lennon was effectively a martyr for this cause, the Lennon Wall has taken its name from him, and many of the messages have famous Beatles lyrics.

We then ventured to the old Charles Bridge, which is apparently the world's largest collection of outdoor statues. People will walk to the bridge to rub the brass on two panels in the middle statue, for luck/children/marriage. It seems that wherever people wish for luck in Europe, they go rub some brass. 

The day ended with a boat cruise. It was relatively boring, but they served me free gingerbread, so I was happy!

The next day, we went skulking for souvenirs from around the Old Town area. Our guide warned us a day earlier that Matryoshka Dolls (Babushka) are not strictly "local legit" - they're effectively just Russian, and the Czechs hate the Russians due to that whole Iron Curtain thing. Still, they sell them on most streets around Old Town. I desperately wanted to buy one. After looking through maybe ten stores (you wouldn't believe how many different types of Matryoshka there are), we entered a very nice looking store on the main strip. Inside, we split - I looked at Matryoshkas while Zach checked out a few more manly things. After about 5 minutes, I was approached by a greying old man who asked if I needed help. I politely replied that I was just having a look, but the man didn't leave my side. Now these stores don't display prices openly, and we quickly learned to check under the ass of the biggest doll for the price. Seeing a rather gorgeous set, I picked one up, and the assistant looked at me and said (again) "can I help you?". At this stage, I was beginning to think he was mildly retarded, but replied with a firmer no. Unfortunately, this led to a lecture in which I was told that if he cannot help me, I cannot touch the "gifts" because touching them was not nice, and I was very rude. Indignant, I hightailed it out of the store, calling Zach on the way. The next place we walked in to got my hard earned kroner, so he can suck it. 

We then ventured up the Astronomical Clock (at an astronomical price of 4 euro; actually it wasn't that bad a price, I just wanted to use the astronomical pun) and got a nice view of around the Old Town area. Before climbing, Zach announced that the weather looked nice and thus it would be a perfect time to climb the tower. This was true, the sky had blued and there were no clouds in sight. 

Guess what happened after we ascended the tower! 

That's right, blue turned to grey faster than Usain Bolt drinks a cappuccino. Still, the view from the top was nice. 

We then descended the tower, and walked across the Charles Bridge for a second time. 

That night, we returned to the Christmas Markets in Old Town Square, and I ate some delicious Langose (which is like fried dough with ketchup and cheese). Zach ate some awful ham that he had to pay for by the 100 gram, and it was only after it was cut that they announced the minimum was 200 grams. Sneaky Czech bastards. You gotta Czech these things out before you commit to purchasing. 

On to Berlin!