Munchen on the Schnitzel of Life

We arrived into Munich Hauptbahnhof (main train station) at 6:30am on Tuesday morning before the sun had woken up. Due to forward thinking and preparation, our hotel was conveniently located within a five minute brisk walk from the train station. It was, however, in the middle of a district dominated by Turkish immigrants, and we would discover it to become relatively uncomfortable to walk through after the sun goes down (at approximately 4pm). Further up the street, the ever-classy "Sexyland" and debonair "Eroticworld" remain open around the clock.

We left our bags at the hotel and set out to discover what Munich could offer us. We walked from the main station into Munich's main square, the Marienplatz, and saw the hundreds of merchants setting up what would become the Christmas Markets (Christkindlmarkt) later in the day. The Marienplatz is the home of Munich's city hall (Rathaus - irony), and has the famous Glockenspiel as its centrepiece. Each day at 11am, the Glockenspiel comes to life, and 32 life sized figures come to life to enact two scenes, a joust and a dance. 

 

It was great to watch, despite the presence of Europe's fattest man in my immediate line of vision.

We then walked around town a little bit to get our bearings - to the Hofbrauhaus, a famous Bavarian beer hall, past the former "Residenz" of the Bavarian royal family, and then onto Odeonsplatz, and the grounds of the Olympic Stadium (Olympiapark). We took a lift to the top of the Olympiaturm, a space needle that the city contracted for the 1972 Olympic Games. From up here, we had a panoramic view of the city. 

 

Well, for about five minutes. Storm clouds rolled in, and made us appreciate how standing out in the open-top area of the Olympiaturm when the wind is blowing in Munich, is akin to having the misfortune of being one of the cows cast to be in the last half of the movie "Twister". 

I'll be honest, I thought for a minute we were going to be blown off the top. Though it was kind of cool to see the city change from a nice sunset to being shrouded in misty rain. That night, Shannon witnessed her first snowfall!

The next day, we decided that we'd do a Third Reich tour of Munich. As you may be aware, Munich was the birthplace of the Nazi Party (Nationalsozialistiche Deutsche Arbeiterpartei) and bore witness to Hitler's phenomenal change from a failed postcard artist, to political prisoner banned from speaking in public, into the Fuhrer und Reichskanzler (Leader and Chancellor of the Reich) over the course of just fifteen years. The tour began at the Rathaus in Marienplatz, where a small inscription inside the building thanks the "US Liberators" for "Freeing the city from the throes of National Socialism". The guide pointed out that it was interesting that this inscription was only installed in 1992 - decades after the war ended. The tour took us to the Hofbrauhaus, arguably Munich's most famous beer hall, where the young Adolf Hitler first began giving speeches to drunken Bavarians. We stood in the audience hall upstairs, and the guide detailed how Hitler's mastery of oratory would inspire even the toughest, rowdiest, drunkest audience into becoming impassioned followers of the Fascist cause. 

We walked along the route of the failed Beer Hall Putsch where Hitler attempted to seize power in Bavaria through violent means, resulting in his imprisonment and the consequent publishing of Mein Kampf. The tour then went on to the offices of the SS, and the Nazi Party Headquarters in Munich. The Nazi HQ was untouched by Allied bombing, and today houses a University for Fine Arts - we went inside, and saw where Hitler's office was. Fascinating stuff. 

The guide made clear to us throughout the day that, though the Germans have a deep sense of regret over what's happened, they are not trying to hide from their past - however, it has taken them a long time to confront the reality of the war, the atrocities that occurred, and the way forward.

In the afternoon, we went to Nymphenburg Palace in Munich, the summer residence of the rulers of Bavaria. It was gorgeous inside, and boring yet massive on the outside. 

Mirror selfies in the Queen's Bedroom. What of it.

We checked out the art collections, including the "Gallery of Beauties" where King Ludwig I of Bavaria planted 36 portraits of Bavarian noblewomen who he found attractive. What a legend. Though, Shannon and I agreed that half of the women in this gallery were as ugly as the back end of a horse. I guess hot women were hard to come by in 1800's Bavaria. 

One third of said gallery.

After this, we walked through the collection of amazingly elaborate royal horse drawn carriages, and this has inspired me to create my own gilded horse drawn carriage when I come back home. If I can be bothered.

That night, we went to the Christmas Markets, looking through all the amazing stalls selling Christmas decorations, and ate some Currywurst - it was fairly delicious. Then we went on to the Hofbrauhaus to indulge in some reportedly amazing Bavarian beer. We sat at a table next to a fat Czech-Bavarian guy who was drinking alone. I asked if we could sit, as the rest of the haus was packed full of people - he welcomed us with an arc of his fatty arm. What then ensued was the most hilarious hour of my life. This guy was obviously incredibly wasted - he shook my hand on approximately fifteen occasions, following each handshake with a pump of his fist and a click of his fingers. His broken English made little to no sense to me most of the time, other than when he proclaimed that I was a "Czech at Heart" - I didn't know if this was a compliment or not, as we've not been to Prague yet. This guy was obviously having a fantastic time, so I ordered what he was having - "Eine maß Hofbrau", or a stein of Hofbrau. 

It was indeed amazing. He announced to me that "Nur ein Schwein Trinkts allein" - translated from German, means "Only a pig drinks alone", and used this as an excuse to "cheers" with me every minute. The funniest part of the night came when three friendly Spanish girls sat at the table also - as I mentioned previously, the haus was packed, and our table was until then half empty. This guy was obviously trying to make a move on one or all of the Spanish girls - I couldn't tell, and I don't think they could either! Shannon and I began chatting with them, and they turned out to be very friendly and warm people. This infuriated the Czech-Bavarian (who I think his name was Dugo) as he couldn't string sentences together in his inebriated state, and Shannon later informed me that while I was speaking to the Spanish girls, he tried to get Shannon to leave with him! He then attempted to buy the girls a drink, but after five minutes of waiting for a beer maiden, he put his money away, and left without a word of Goodbye. We continued to have a great evening after Dugo had departed. 

The day after, we took a tour to Linderhof and Neuschwanstein, the castles of Bavaria's "mad king", Ludwig II. The “tour guide” for today, Heidi, was a strange frau. She brought her tiny dog on the tour in a bag – we didn’t know that it was there until it barked. Anyway, back to the story, Linderhof was built in a picturesque snowdrift at the base of some of the Bavarian pre-alps, and was fairly gorgeous. 

Very detailed inside, though we weren't allowed to take pictures inside. Being banned from taking pictures is one of my biggest annoyances with tourism in general. If it doesn't harm the decoration (e.g. non-flash), and you pay to get in, why the hell shouldn't you be allowed to take pictures? I can kind of understand for "holy sites", but for a fancy Kraut-house that nobody lives in anymore, this gives me the absolute ….… well, it's annoying. After Linderhof, we went to Neuschwanstein, the inspiration for the Disney Castle. Wouldn't you know it, the Krauts have shrouded the entire back and side of the thing with scaffolding to clean it. This caused me considerable annoyance, and may or may not have led to the recitation of a few poor taste and politically incorrect stereotyped curse words directed at the Bavarian Palace Department. We walked up the mountain to the castle itself, which took about 25 minutes on foot, and took photos with the front facade of the castle which luckily was not scaffolded. Entering the castle, it was very beautiful inside, though it was obvious that it was constructed only recently (within the last 200 years) as it lacks the grandiosity and gravitas that could be expected from a castle of its reputation.

The next day, we toured out to Dachau concentration camp, arguably the first concentration camp that the Nazi's constructed, located 25 minutes outside of Munich by train. The camp itself was quite confronting - on the front gate, as the prisoners would be taken into the camp, the words "Arbeit Macht Frei" would greet them - literally "Work Makes (You) Free". 

 
This was, of course, a lie designed to motivate prisoners into subservience. We walked through the different sections of the camp, through the "Bunker", which housed high profile prisoners and served as an extra detention block for the more aggressive prisoners (including standing cells). The guide detailed to us the atrocities that were committed against the minorities who were detained, obviously a majority of which belonged to the Jewish people, however this was not limited to them (also black people, homosexuals, political prisoners, etc, and Christians who spoke against the Reich). We walked through the initiation rooms, where property was signed in and initial showers took place. We watched a short film (20 minutes or so) showing what life (or lack thereof) in Dachau was like. The documentary didn't contain much new information to us, nor the tour guide himself. However, standing in the camp gives your knowledge an emotion that is impossible to replicate until you walk through the compound. 

The group was silent for most of the day - even the Americans who came with us managed to shut their supersized mouths. We walked through sleeping quarters, "bathrooms", and then on to the Crematoria and Gas Chamber. Though Dachau had a fully constructed gas chamber, it apparently was never used. The crematoria worked on overtime, however, and its estimated that 40,000 were killed at Dachau. This is nowhere near the same number as were killed at the the "Extermination" camps (e.g. Auschwitz), but is still staggering.  

The middle of the compound houses a memorial sculpture constructed by a Jewish survivor of Dachau, and nearby the words "Never Again" are transcribed into five different languages. 

Let's hope so.